Brains and beauty, this velvet voiced siren comes to us straight from the deserts of Arizona. After a brief fellowship with a renowned animal behaviorist, she realized her innate talents would be used better in Hollywood.

Straight out of an Ain co-op in Silverlake, California, Babette has burst onto the scene from her previous experience producing Christmas Movies of the Week. Having grown allergic to mistletoe and sentimentality, she ran this crew with a whip and cat-o-nine tails and she’s not looking back.

Fantastic attitude and stamina until we found him face down on the set the second day of filming. He was holding the syringe of fake blood. We’re not sure what his real name is as he was carrying several passports from different countries. An alias among aliases, we chose the least stupid sounding name. May be MI 16.

Very serious about his craft. A PhD, we’re still trying to decipher what he’s talking about.

Is a therapist to the stars in real life. We were fortunate enough to glean some words of wisdom and are still basking in the glow. She is concerned about the mental health of the rest of the crew.

From baseball to editing, he likes a homerun. A veritable encyclopedia of the Beatles, he has discovered that iced green tea is the solution to all the world’s problems… or at least his.

Disappointed that she wasn’t born a cartoon, Bianca does her best to live in a two dimensional world. Living on tortillas and other flat food, she strives for the perfect silhouette. Only eats at counters.

Hails from Detroit and wonders how he found himself in this mess. A talented artist, tragedy occurred when the still life subject he was painting, died. If he were a cocktail his description would be bitter with an aftertaste of despair.

From the heartland of southern Ohio, Trixie is a librarian in real life. You will mostly find her in the mystery section, searching for ways to commit the perfect murder.

Born with angelic looks, don’t let this powerhouse fool you. She brought down a national chain of bedding and linen shops, so we treat her very nicely hoping to stay on her good side.

Un éclat! Won a national contest for speed speaking. We think she’s from France but her bio went by too fast.

Was also found dead the second day of shooting, having succumbed to the heat. A shooting star on the big screen of what could have been a fabulous career.

Sister of Teiko (see above). Having just graduated from law school, she assumes everyone is guilty of something. She was ready to have us arrested for the death of her brother but when we offered her a part, she dropped the charges for the lure of fame saying “Everything was great until Teiko was born anyway. Mommy always loved him best.”

Born in Montreal but raised in New York, she speaks several languages fluently. She knows everything and doesn’t let you forget it.

A fantastic human being and so much more. Generous and funny, we’d have been in the dark without him.

Lost in a western. We found her wandering on our set humming various Ennio Morricone tunes. We took advantage of her extraordinary singing talents. Last seen wandering on the set of The Forgotten.

Couturier to the stars and her hot dogs are out of this world. (see Willie Dawgs in Brooklyn)

Spawn of the devil.

Was recovering from liver disease. He is actually a llama.

Spent his youth cruising the west side of Cleveland. In his spare time he sang at blues bars until he realized he wasn’t black. Traded in his Baracuda for a gear head and the rest is history. His parents have been expecting him home for supper since the early 1990’s.

Escaped from a cold northern climate but took all of her talent with her. She can be found knitting shawls that have scientific principals hidden in their stitches. She might also work for MI 16 but more likely MI 16 and 1/2.

A gifted film maker and fine art dealer, he is currently writing a remake of Little Orphan Annie where the protagonist wears contact lenses and sports an uzi. Is one of the few who knows where those long lost Van Gogh’s are, including the ear.

Having just returned from his 5th circumnavigation of the globe, in a 30 foot replica of the Titanic, we were lucky to reel in Calvin who was the understudy to Frankie Avalon. A renaissance man of the highest order, he is still figuring out what he wants to be when he grows up.